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Honoring Endings

I have found it interesting since leaving religion to explore the ideas around endings.

Within Evangelicalism it seemed that endings were looked at as failure, and something to be ashamed of. Or they were written off as necessary for god and that we "shouldn't" feel bad about that loss because it was part of what god wanted from us. Neither of these options is productive, helpful, or kind.

What I have found is that endings are actually an incredibly natural part of our process of growth.

Most things in the natural earth shed their external layer regularly, because they change and grow. Our hair, and skin cells, the skin of snakes, the shells of little sea creatures.

We grow out of everything. The same is true for what we believe. As we grow up, and experience more of life, more views, we are meant to adapt to survive. We are meant to struggle and expand.
This means endings, and also, beginnings.

Within religion, this innate response can be stifled. If something no longer made sense, the one trying to grow is said to be the problem. There is shame and blame placed on the person fighting to grow.

From the outside looking in I see how incredibly important it is to honor our natural inclination to grow, and when necessary, allow something to end.

I think that however good something has been, if it is no longer helping you, and perhaps, holding you back, it is important to honor that ending (whenever you are ready).

Also, as a side note I want to add that you may know something needs to end and still be processing it. You do not need to immediately leave, or do anything if you are still making sense of things. You can move slowly if you need to do that to feel safe, and honor your process.

You are whole, and worthy right where you are at in whatever process. You do not need to stay to be worthy, you do not need to leave to be worthy. You are worthy in all of it, in the midst of it.

For me, I have to truly sit with the loss of whatever it is I am leaving behind. When it comes to emotional processing I tend to have a one track mind, and I am really thankful for this. I sit with it and feel it all.

I got some incredible advice from my mom once that I found extremely helpful: to set aside some time each day to fully feel that sadness, to sit with it and feel it deeply. When that time is up, go on to doing the things you have to do to exist, and know that you will come back to it again, in an hour, in a few hours, or in a day, or in a week. The timing depends on the severity of your feelings of loss.

This allows you to take time to care for yourself in whatever way you need to.

Are you in the process of an ending right now?

What helps you honor the end of something?

Christina C,

Life Coach

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